Funny and Mostly True!

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.

3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

5. No one is listening until you say something stupid.

6. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

7. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

8. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

9. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

10. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

11. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

12. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

13. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

14. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.

15. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

16. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

17. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

18. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

19. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

20. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

21. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

22. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

23. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our ass...Then things get worse.

24. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

25. There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

26. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

27. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday...around age 11.

28. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

29. Your problems are as interesting to others as theirs are to you.

30. If you think you are smarter than anyone else you will find you probably don't have many friends.

Kisses to All! 

Things Change with Age

Things sure change as we age (doesn’t that sound better than “grow old”? like cheese, we age – that would mean we get better, humm). I remember being such a different person, politically, faith based beliefs, tolerance, waistline, well, in general, everything. I cannot decide for sure, but I think I may be better now.

There are people who stayed as I was and would say I know nothing and have gotten worse rather than better. But I say they are wrong. Here’s why.

Faith Based Beliefs: I am happier with my Christian beliefs than I was with any other “thing” I believed in the past. I feel secure in what I have learned from my trek and confidant that I will see heaven and that the place does exist. I also feel no great need to argue with anyone about these beliefs, which in the past I would have wanted to fight to get my point across. I actually see that a lot in people who have the same insecure beliefs that I previously held.

Politically: My faith actually changed my politics. When I became a Christian it became critical to base my political choices on people with like-minded beliefs especially with regards to pro-choice/pro-life, stem-cell research, etc. One naturally supports the other.

Tolerance: This one is hilarious because what I constantly hear is the Christians are the in-tolerant ones. I certainly do not see that. I am much more tolerant of others than I ever was in the past. This is because as a Christian the teachings of Jesus require a certain tolerance of others. However, He never preached that we couldn’t judge wrongdoing. It’s silly that non-Christians try to take the Bible and pick out things to use against believers. Anything can be made of a passage taken out a context.

Waistline: Ok, this one didn’t improve but I am happier with myself overall as a person. I feel sad that people of non-faith find that being intolerant of Christians is the thing to do. But I am not surprised as that is exactly how it has to go to make Revelation come true. It’s a circle and they don’t even see it.